Being in constant TMS pain really kills self-confidence. I know. I’ve been there. But part of the self-recovery process is in starting to cultivate your confidence again, to start believing you are capable of great things again. The following four words of wisdom are what I wish I had told my younger self. I hope they help you cultivate the kind of confidence you need to recover and grow stronger than ever.

Step #1: Release Your Repressed Emotions

Of course, when you start out trying to cultivate confidence, you’re absolutely going to run into roadblocks. Perhaps a lot of your pain points will rear their ugly heads and make you remember why you lost your confidence in the first place. Even when you know you shouldn’t, you may listen to those voices and get even further from the goal.


Be mad. Be angry. Yell at yourself. Do whatever you need to and don’t hold back. Let out all of the rage that has been controlling you and controlling your pain. Let yourself scream or cry or punch some pillows. Pretend the pillows are TMS. Make yourself realize that you are DONE letting your brain dominate the way you think and act. Let your brain know that it put up a good fight, but you’re taking back control, starting NOW.

Step #2: Radical Acceptance

Once you let everything out, the next step will flow smoothly. Radical acceptance comes when you accept who you truly are, a flawed, beautiful human. Accepting yourself is the first part of starting to rebuild your confidence. Recognizing and understanding your weaknesses can help you change.

I found self-acceptance when I was healing my mind. I recognized my failings and weaknesses. Over time, I accepted them. I was able to realize that I had the strength to face these weaknesses as challenges. I had the willpower to face my painful experiences and work toward overcoming them.

Loving yourself and accepting yourself is very important. Only you can do this for yourself. You can train your brain to love yourself. By refocusing the mind on goals, you can strive toward success – but only after you’ve accepted yourself.

Step #3: Radical Forgiveness

To move forward in your confidence journey, you will need to transition from acceptance to forgiveness. You must forgive yourself for the faults you have. Everyone has faults – it’s a natural part of being human. Understand the faults and let go of things you cannot control.

This step of letting go is where many people get hung up. But, it’s a critical step to take if you want to live a pain-free life. Let go of any guilt or shame that you may be holding on to. Holding it inside won’t do any good. It will only harm you. For what? What do you get out of holding on to such negative emotions? Nothing – it’s just making you sick.

That’s not the way you want to live. So, love yourself, accept yourself and you must forgive yourself. If others stand in your way to forgiveness or do not see you the way you want them to, don’t worry about them or what they say. We cannot control what others do. We can only control what we do. So, make sure you’re doing the most to live your best. As your confidence grows, you’ll be back to loving life and enjoying yourself again.

Step #4: Radical New You

Once you’ve let everything out, accepted and forgiven yourself, all that’s left is to live as your new self. Self-recovery and confidence can go hand in hand if you maintain positivity and don’t let anyone else dim your success.

Once you’ve reached a certain level of confidence, don’t let others bring you down by bringing up your past self over and over again. Focus on the now. Focus on loving life and the success you have. Celebrate the goals you’ve met and how hard you’ve worked to better your brain. By believing in your self-recovery, you can cultivate your confidence and become a radical new you.

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