Why Is Feeling Rage Important? Why It Is Not OK to Suppress It
Most people, when they get angry or distressed, try to keep everything bottled up inside. It’s somehow expected in our society that people would not lose it all the time and avoid giving in to rage and letting off steam. This is good advice under normal circumstances. After all, you can’t really go around shouting at everybody for every little thing. But at the same time, it is also important to understand that if you are bottling up emotions that need to be let out, you’re putting yourself at risk of developing psychosomatic disorders.
Over a period of time, this method of dealing with frustration and anger can lead to an intense build-up of extreme anger. This extreme anger is more likely to cause chaos, mayhem and sometimes even violence compared to dealing with the situation that angers you when it happens.
When people get angry, there is a general feeling of unease. One becomes tense, the heart starts to beat faster, breathing becomes more rapid, the face becomes flushed, and one starts to become irritable. Societal expectations expect that people should try and not get angry. We hear it all the time, “try to control your anger;” “calm down,” “cool it,” etc. All these statements encourage us to bury our anger, but while that may work for the other party, it can also end up making you feel even worse than before. This constant bottling up of your emotions and thoughts can create difficulty with sleep, anxiety, negative thoughts, and poor quality of life.
By now, we understand that the brain has the capability of exhibiting a wide range of moods. It is normal to be angry or frustrated sometimes. These feelings do not indicate a pathological or mental disorder. It is just one extreme of normal behavior. As long as you don’t get angry constantly or unnecessarily, it is normal to lose it once in a while. That does not make you mad or crazy. In fact, suppressing your rage may make you crazy and steer you towards the part of stress, anxiety, and depression. Think of it this way. When you’re happy, you laugh. The same thing applies to rage. When you’re angry, just let it out. Releasing your anger/rage makes people feel a lot better and relaxed.
There is absolutely nothing wrong in getting angry, upset or frustrated. It is part of normal emotions. However, when you let out your rage or anger, it should be in a controlled manner without harming yourself or others. Do not literally bang your head against a wall or jump off a building. There are ways to deal with your rage. Ways that can help you vent but at the same time do not create a difficult situation for you or anyone else.
Here are some more reasons why you need to let your anger and frustration out regularly:
Helps meet your needs: Sometimes you have had a long, difficult day at work, and all that frustration has been building inside you. And then your spouse calls you up to pick some groceries on the way home and not to forget the kids at the daycare. By the time you get home you are tired and angry and just about ready to let some steam off. That does not mean you go home and scream at your kids or your spouse. That just means you find some way to release that anger so that it doesn’t affect your relationship with your family and it also doesn’t affect your health negatively.
Set your boundaries: There are always some people in our lives who take us for granted or ask us you for favors. There are yet others who are too interfering with or curious about our lives. We all have to deal with such people, but that does not mean we allow them to run all over us. All you have to do is tell them firmly that you don’t appreciate their interference or that you don’t have the time or the capacity to indulge them all the time. You don’t have to scream and shout at them; you just find a solution so that you don’t continuously feel angry inside and harm your physical and mental wellbeing.
Anger gets things done: Sometimes, you have coworkers who don’t take their work seriously. You continue to put up, but you have to understand that this cannot go on forever. A time will come when you will have to deal with them, and you may need to show them that their slackness is making you angry. Again, it should be your mood and tone of voice that should tell them that it is time to get back to business. There is no need for any violence or over-the-top expression of your anger.
Rage and anger are normal. There is no need to feel guilty about it. There is no need to suppress it. Instead, you should find ways to deal with this rage so that it doesn’t affect you in the long run.